My Private Itch
And Other Irritants
The Itch:
I woke up this morning with the itch. If you’ve ever had a yeast infection, you know what I’m talking about. I haven’t had one in years, but I knew the signs. A day or so before there’s this initial warning. You get an inkling that maybe it might be something. Then overnight it can blossom, and you wake with a maddening compulsion to scratch.
In case I’m not being clear enough, I’m talking about private parts here and the insane thoughts of grabbing a Brillo pad and scrubbing to the point of raw pain for sweet relief. I know that’s not a pretty image, and I’d never do it. But that’s how intense it can be when you’re suffering with candida (a.k.a. yeast infection). And if you haven’t had one, well lucky you, but know that 75% of women have had at least one in their lifetimes.
That’s what brought me to the subject of itching today. I mean, what is it that can drive a sweet person like me to distraction?
Other types of Itches
Itching comes in degrees, as we all know. I’m talking about the kind where the volume is turned up to 11.
Perhaps you’ve had a raging case of poison ivy that was so bad that you wanted to bite off your fingers. Or eczema so intense you’d scald your affected body part with the hottest water you could tolerate because the euphoria of the burn was a blessed relief—at least temporarily. Or maybe it was a bug bite (fleas are particularly nasty if you’re susceptible) with welts that last for weeks and grow itchier and itchier the more you scratch them. It’s enough to make you go crazy.
Of course, scratching only makes it worse. We know this but we can’t stop. It becomes a fixation. It disrupts sleep. Interrupts work. I’m guessing it’s sort of like the compulsion drug addicts have where they are crawling out of their skin to get their next fix.
They can’t help themselves. If this is true, I can totally empathize.
And then there’s the famous 7-year itch, made famous by the Broadway play and 1955 movie The Seven Year Itch starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell. The premise was this: a man’s fidelity to his traveling wife is tested when a naïve, new neighbor (Marilyn Monroe) moves to the apartment upstairs. His unbridled fantasies take hold, matched only by his guilt, and he wonders if he is suffering from the “itch” that supposedly strains every marriage in the 7th year, as described in the book he’s read by a renowned psychologist.
By the way, this theory has never been proven.
And that brings me back to today’s itch. After an 8:00 am visit to my local pharmacy for a reliable 1-day over-the-counter treatment for the yeast infection and its companion tube of itch relief cream, I started to wonder what itching actually is.
What Causes Itching
This short video from Pfizer talks about how external and internal irritants can trigger itching.
Man with an ant in his hair.
A more scientific explanation of histamines comes from this article from International Journal of Molecular Sciences. (Don’t expect to understand everything here unless you’re a scientist or play one on TV.)
And from it we learn that the itch is not the cause. It’s a response to infections, irritants, and underlying diseases. In most cases, a dermatologist, gynecologist, or other specialist will diagnose the source of the problem and recommend the best treatment. It could be any of these causes.
· An overgrowth of yeast (in my case)
· Very dry skin
· Bug bites
· Itchy skin conditions
· Skin cancer (if that new or changing spot on your skin itches)
· Serious internal diseases
· Nerve problems
· Allergic reactions with rashes
· And my favorite: Reaction to plant or marine life. Did you know a condition called Seabather's Eruption can affect swimmers when newly hatched jellyfish or sea anemones get trapped between their skin and their swimsuits?
This reminds me of the time I was going on a trip to the Caribbean, and I called my dear, but often infuriating, mother from the airport to say goodbye.
What did she say? Bon voyage? Have a great trip? Send me a postcard?
No. She said she would strongly advise me to change my mind about the trip on the chance that a grain of sand might get in my bathing suit and lodge itself in my rectum! Yes “rectum.” Tthat’s the word she used.
It blew my mind. I blew my stack. Enough said.
But of course, that's before I knew about Seabather's Eruption.
Consider yourself forewarned. And have a safe summer.
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Marilyn is in the querying trenches with two novels and writing her third. One Middle Grade, one Book Club. She lives West Orange, NJ with her sweet, supportive husband, Rob Lieberman, and their support-cat, Miskit (short for Miss Kitty.) Their grown son, Matt, is making his own stories, sharing his heart, and rocking the world one day at a time.